“Blowjob on the Lawn” Decision-Making Criteria

The Irrefutable Opinion

BJ_WEB

It starts with this:  “I’m getting a blowjob on the front lawn!”

Firstly, let me congratulate you on the blowjob.  I think we can all agree, that’s kind of like a mini-Christmas that just popped into your week.  But, though you’re excited, here is at least three reasons why that is probably a bad idea:

1.  This is not your house.  And the guy that lives here really loves that lawn.

2.  Other people still exist around you.  Probably the idea that you might get caught in the act is appealing to you, but that shows a complete lack of consideration for the guy that has to find you.  No one wants to catch you with your tumbly junk out and your naked ass hanging imprudently in the air.  If we did, we’d just install semi-transparent sliding glass door on all our bathrooms and rip them open the moment we…

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